Changemakers Confidential: Karina
Real stories. Real people. Real change.
Welcome to Changemakers Confidential, where we share real stories from real people on real change. Our update this week was hinted at in Lana’s change story a few weeks ago, and has now come full circle through the story of our friend-in-common, Karina. She is another amazing woman I met early pandemic, and is a reminder to me of how wonderfully the Universe provides the true desires and asks of our heart, once we gain the courage and clarity to put them out there. She and Lana are a part of my beloved Sedona Sisters friend group, a group of wise, spiritual, and fun women who show me every day the power of intentions, manifestation, and perfect timing, and believing through it all that the Universe will - and does - deliver in the most fabulous of ways. Karina and I talk about the importance of asking and receiving the gifts the Universe has for you, trusting that they are, in fact, for you to receive, and for us to delight in, learn from, and share with the world around us.
My marketing career started out right out of college as a consultant with Accenture, focused on technology. Looking back, I see now how that path really wasn’t aligned with what I was meant to do or be, but it provided a lot of learning/insight that I take forward still to this day. At the time, I didn’t have any guides or role models to help me in making decisions, so I did the best I could with what I knew. What was screaming at me, from all sides, was how to succeed in this type of career, you needed analytical skills. If you can analyze data and solve problems using the data, you’re golden. That’s what matters. So, sharpen that skill, build those muscles, and you’ll be good. Did that feel right to you? I think that when you’re in your 20s, you do things more because you’re supposed to, rather than asking yourself if it’s right for you. You don’t really know what’s right; you’re figuring it out as you go.
I spent six years in a highly analytical role at Accenture, and then I decided to get my MBA. The mantra was still, the more analytical you are, the better you’re going to be in life. After completing my MBA, I got my first marketing manager role at the Pillsbury Company. My whole job was pulling data, analyzing data, and telling stories with that data. I learned quickly that if you could rattle off numbers, speak to trends, and know your business inside and out, you were going to be a rockstar. So, this whole time, I continued to focus on data and analysis. However, I was unknowingly suppressing my creative side, and eventually, she started showing up, saying, hey! you can’t ignore me anymore! So, the way my creativity came out at that time was in my skill for strategy.
I was able to come up with creative business solutions that were supported by the data and that were also unique. All of this stuff was showing up in my head, and I saw that I was a good problem-solver because I could understand and take the data in new directions that revealed new insights and possibilities. I couldn’t suppress that manifestation of my creative side, nor did I want to, so I went with it, and rode that wave for years, translating data into strategy. Yet, I was still suppressing important aspects of my creativity.
In those types of marketing roles, you had your people, your agencies, to do the design, the creative work. You would share your strategy/vision and the creative people would go do the work. Did you ever find yourself wanting to be on the agency side, so you could be more connected to that creative aspect of the work? Often what would happen is we would, over time, build a trusting relationship with our agency partners so we could brainstorm freely, and channel our creative ideas and energy into those end products. I saw that I could express myself by providing feedback on the creative work being done by the agencies.You reviewed the options to determine what was on strategy, given the story of the data. The stuff that came out of those brainstorming sessions was always better than where we started from, and it was fun to see it evolve and change, knowing we’d been a part of that process. One of my agency friends called me a “closet creative!” So even though creativity was starting to show up for me, my storyline was still that analysis and data were king, heavily grounded and reinforced in my experiences. The storylines of you will be more successful, you will be more respected if you focus on the numbers, the data, and the strategy were strong themes throughout my corporate experience, yet things were starting to shift in interesting ways.
From there, Karina moved to independent consulting, and saw even more that she couldn’t repress her creative force. What did that feel like, to see your creativity become more vocal, more strident in its desire to be acknowledged, freed? It felt like this force was bubbling up within me and needed to be, must be, brought out into the world. For example, I’d get together with my crafty friends and we’d go build stuff on the weekends. We’d go to Lowe’s for materials and would build shelves for our kids’ rooms. In time, I realized that I was just as creative as my friends were. I’d never really looked at myself in that way before. This realization led me to start dabbling in jewelry-making, which continues to this day in the bracelets and pendulums I make for Heart Centric Divine Creations, the online boutique I co-founded with Lana (read Lana’s update here).
So even though much of her life was spent in data, analysis, and numbers, Karina was attracting creativity to herself. People arrived that helped her find outlets to be creative. This brought us to the topic of shadow work, which are the parts of ourselves that we repress, the reasons of which we often repress, too. When we start expressing what has been hidden, acknowledging that it’s there and that we aren’t afraid (or as afraid) of it, there is balance. The reality is that we are - must be - both. Our power lies in being and expressing all aspects of ourselves without shame or shut-down. The work is in eliminating that duality, between what we bring out to play, and what we choose to leave at home, unattended, in front of the latest Netflix series.
It’s hard to shine a light into those dark corners and explore those depths within a society that defines much in terms of the “other,” and doesn’t readily encourage a connection between the parts of our whole. What’s a side of yourself that was repressed? The fullest expression of my creativity was repressed until I recognized and honored the value of what it was, how it could help heal and encourage growth. Creativity is a part of our health and well-being, our birthright. It’s an important piece of the puzzle that helps us show up more completely as human beings in the world. Did you have to re-evaluate your values on creativity as you started to unhide the hidden? I learned that sometimes the external world has differing values and points of view on what creativity is and what it “should” look like. I learned to ask myself, do I agree with that value, with that view of creativity? Because at the end of the day, you get to decide. You get to judge for yourself what creativity means for you, and to figure out the role you want it to play in your life, knowing that role will evolve and change the more fully you integrate it into your life.
What’s your process of inquiry in figuring this stuff out? I ask myself, what am I developing/expressing right now? Which is a change for me, because so much of the world around me, the people around me, were driven by the importance of understanding what the data was telling you, how to interpret the data, or how to tell that story. The thinking was, I value being data-driven; I don’t trust or value my intuition. The part that I repressed was my intuitive side. So now, after all this time, how am I going to leverage my intuition as anything accurate or that I can rely on?
Of course, the timing was elegant on this one: when I went through the Learning Journeys coaching certification program last year, I learned that all of the answers were already inside of me. It was like, holy crap!! That’s very different from what I’d been thinking all this time! This was tapping into something much deeper, something unknown yet known at the same time. It was this idea of allowing your intuition to come through and trusting it; it’s such a powerful experience. I saw how taking my data-driven tendencies and coupling it with my intuition could be a powerful creative force for wisdom and knowledge in the world. It’s on us to allow it all to come forth so you can be that much more complete, and that much more of a source of love and light for humanity.
How have you seen both your analytical side and intuitive side evolve as they’ve come together? The value is in allowing yourself to make decisions from both places. How do I combine the knowledge of my intuition and the information of the data in a way that is aligned with my personal values? You have to honor both sides or else you’ll never be completely at peace with the decisions you make. You may go down a path that is infinitely more difficult because you ignored an aspect that would’ve informed you more completely, more authentically. And: there’s a lesson in that, too. :)
This idea of shadow work is interesting. I wonder sometimes if there truly are light/dark aspects to each one of us, or is that concept something imposed on us by society, to define us according to what we “should” be or what is deemed acceptable to participate in society? Or to make it more difficult for our true selves to emerge because they’re gonna be wacky, eccentric, and unruly to some degree? Oftentimes, when we hear the words “shadow side,” we judge it as undesirable somehow. How we talk about it, and how we frame it, matters greatly, because of the potential - and reality, for most of us - to have that difference between the two be vast. Who wants to dwell in the dark, in the “less-than” space? Maybe we need to change how we talk about it. It’s hard to acknowledge our less-than-desirable selves, but we must to take responsibility of our lives, our choices, and to fully acknowledge that we are works in progress. We can’t judge ourselves for what we didn’t know in that moment; it’s all a part of our creative journey.
What do you see the role of creativity being for you today? Teaching others how to step into their power is incredibly important to me. Helping them tap into their intuition, be able to access the valuable insight inside of them…this opens up incredible worlds of opportunity. Having a role in assisting them to open that portal within themselves is an incredible gift. It’s a way to combine all parts of ourselves. Do you ever experience tension, as you build your creative muscles (your analytical muscles are so strong!)? If I allow that tension to rise up, I do my best to pay attention to it. It shows up in the most exciting ways! I feel something bubbling up from within, this itchiness, I want to access it somehow. Maybe it manifests as writing a story, painting, creating jewelry…we all have this creative side to ourselves. If we give it a change to express out into the world, it’s such a rich and meaningful force for good in our world.
How has your life had to change to support this new direction, this progress towards creativity, intuition, honoring the formerly-hidden? There are important questions for me to continuously ask myself in this process of discovery: why the heck am I repressing this thing (emotion, idea, response)? What is there for me to learn in this? What if I try this? I have to keep trying, and not stop connecting to my creativity, my inner wisdom, even if it’s challenging or unclear. This creative path is an opportunity to seek understanding on what’s driving you to show up in this way. It’s the most gratifying, rewarding experience when you get confirmation that what you brought into the world is meaningful, and potentially life-changing, both for yourself and for the people around you.
How do you fill the well? How do you carve out time in your day to stay connected to that source, that energy? What is your practice of cultivating connection to creativity? You have to make sure you’re opening up all of the channels, so that energy has a place to show up. I find myself questioning more the mundane, the routine. I feel like a bit of a mad scientist or an alchemist as I sprinkle in experiments, trying this, trying that…seeing what happens. I also think it’s important to find your power people. To spend time together, share ideas, talk, encourage each other on this path.
Now typically, for me, I’ve been a driver (this is a Kristina reflection…hang with me, folks). I’d always told myself that I was high-energy, but I wonder about that now. For example, today, Saturday night is my favorite night to stay in. I have really learned - and come to appreciate - the value of my own company. It’s been strangely gratifying to discover who that is, and see who shows up in those quiet moments that I attempt to carve out for her in the hurry-scurry of real life. I really dig her. I’m starting to see how important it is to create channels to receive insight, inspiration, a connection to our deeper selves, our Knowing. Before, I was relying on others to be my channel, but I’m learning that I have to be my own channel. And it’s hard to be our own channel - we are so conditioned to have others be our channel, and to not take full responsibility for every aspect of our lives. Our choices and how they’ve been borne out. Yet, to fully embody our lives and our purpose, we need to have our own personal connection to spirit and intuition. A way to stay open and attentive to what shows up, and allowing ourselves to see - and receive - the gifts as they arrive. To honor those gifts in a way that combines the head, the heart, and the hands in service of the purpose we are here to do.
Deep, deep gratitude to Madame Karina for her soulful change story, and for giving us glimpses of the learning and growth that is possible on the spiritual, creative, and fully-integrated path. I ask her humble forgiveness if I’ve misquoted/misstated anything from our conversation, and don’t forget to check our her online boutique, Heart Centric Divine Creations, for spiritually-inspired jewelry and gifts.
If you loved reading Karina’s story and would like to hear more real stories from real people on real change, please subscribe to Changemakers Confidential, and share it with other changemakers you know. Thanks for reading - see you next week!
Warmly,
Kristina
Chief Change Maven, Changemakers Confidential