Changemakers Confidential: Lana

Real people. Real stories. Real change.

Hello, changemakers!

Welcome to Changemakers Confidential, where we share real stories from real people about real change. This week’s update comes from a new, and already very dear, friend of mine, Lana. We met this past year via a friend-in-common (Karina, whose update is coming soon!), when we were all completing our coach practitioner credential with Learning Journeys, based here in the Twin Cities. Lana’s change story demonstrates how deep loss can be a form of alchemy, breaking everything down into its elemental parts, from which something new can emerge in a completely different way. I am honored to be sharing her story, and am deeply grateful for her willingness to be open and vulnerable about the many ways change has changed her over the past decade. 

Lana has always possessed an innate curiosity about different cultures, people, and places. She immigrated to Minnesota at age two from Russia, and grew up in a multilingual household, speaking both English and Russian. She got her degree in anthropology from the University of Minnesota, and then moved out east, to pursue her Master’s in Museology/Museum Studies at The George Washington University. She worked at numerous museums on the east coast, notably at the Smithsonian and the American Museum of Natural History. Eventually, she and her family returned to Minnesota when she accepted a position at the Museum of Russian Art in Minneapolis, where she spent five years as Director of Operations and External Relations. 

By all counts, Lana’s life was humming along. She had a solid and engaging career, had her first son, and was building a rather expected life with her then-husband. Little did she know that change would upend her life in a major way, asking her to delve deep within, be vulnerable, be broken, and to get curious about exploring all aspects of Self to a degree she’d never fathomed before. 

In 2012, Lana had three major changes occur: one was the stillbirth of her second son, Sam, at thirty-eight weeks. She was laid off from her position at the museum. And: she initiated a divorce. It’s been a decade since those changes swept through her life. At the time, it felt like the earth was shattering and cracking open around her, and she was sinking deeply into the quicksand of the unknown. A glimmer appeared in the form of a professional redirect, when she landed at Target, in a brand marketing role, and from there, transitioned to a product marketing role. During her time at Target, she met two fantastic women, with whom she launched Creator’s Space in downtown St. Paul, a creativity center and community (it’s a beautiful, inspiring space with great coffee/eatables!). Being a part of bringing Creator’s Space to life gave Lana an entrepreneurial bug that is with her to this day; her true nature was unleashed. 

~I love initiating, starting, ideating and conceptualizing, and then figuring out how to make it all a reality. 

At the time, she was also coaching, but didn’t know that’s what, in fact, she was doing. In time, she launched her coaching/consulting business, HeART’s Work Coaching and Consulting, where she provides creative coaching and consulting services.

~We are all innately creative; that’s what makes us human. I would hear so often from people that “I’m not creative,” so I wanted to help people tap into what I knew they did have: creativity. When we are engaged in the act of creating, our own acts of creation, that’s when I believe amazing things start to happen. 

In spite of her deep belief in and sense of purpose connected to creativity, being an entrepreneur was different. Truth be told, Lana wasn’t exactly sure what to do after launching HeART’s Work. 

~I found myself thinking, I’ve created this business, now what do I do? Looking back, I see that I didn’t have the belief or confidence in myself to really do this business. So, it became dormant. Yet, I couldn’t let it go. In time, a client found me, and it - I –  became revived. 

This creativity revival led Lana to consider how she would incorporate coaching in a more intentional way into her business. This led her to the the Learning Journey’s coach practitioner program:

~It {Learning Journeys} really changed my life and my perspective. The insights I gained, the people I met were amazing. Karina is now my business partner, and I feel like I’ve known her my entire life. We ended up combining our businesses to become Heart Centric Coaching Collaborative, where we help our clients step into their unique power and discover their best life, through the power of transformational and creative coaching. 

Lana’s life truly has been a transformational change story. My question to her at this point in our conversation was around how did the life events that happened in 2012, a decade ago, prepare her for her entrepreneurial path today? 

~There was so much loss in my life at that time. The death of the dreams I’d had for my marriage, the ending of my family unit as it stood back then, the death of my second son, the loss of my livelihood and the museum career I’d built over the previous decade. And: it was all the catalyst that drove me to go within. That time was the start of my spiritual journey that continues to this day. 

Lana talked about how a large part of that time was spent in looking for answers to why Sam (her second son) had passed on. She was so vulnerable, so cracked open, so raw.

~How was it being so open and vulnerable? 

~Sam’s death brought up feelings around another death that had occurred earlier in my life: the passing of my father when I was 19. I had never dealt with it; I just didn’t know how. Experiencing Sam’s death made me also deal with that loss, and to learn how to sit with it and feel the deep pain and suffering from those experiences. That openness and vulnerability allowed me to look at things from a different perspective, to be curious and less afraid to dwell in the unknown of things. 

I have many clients today who are afraid of jumping into the unknown, of how uncomfortable the unknown can feel as they pursue their dreams. Because of my life experience, I have deep and intimate knowing that this is not the last time I’m going to encounter change and hardship. I have this knowledge that no matter what, we’re going to get through it. It’s about life and balance and getting acquainted with the dark to know our light in a more true and authentic way. In many ways, I’ve been prepared for the life of an entrepreneur; you have to be able to absorb the highs and the lows, and be able to keep going, to stay in pursuit of your dreams and your truth. 

~Lana, in your opinion, what is the creative process of loss? How did creativity get you through? What if sometimes you don’t want to pick up the pieces of what’s been broken - what then? 

~Creativity is a choice in how you perceive things. Acknowledging that this is what I know it to be right now, and asking ourselves if maybe there’s a different way to move forward. Creativity is asking ourselves, how do I learn more about that different way, how do I get to that next step? The way we go about creating that for ourselves and finding those things that fuel our souls is within all of us… it’s a very individual pursuit. 

The aspect of the unknown was an interesting point in our conversation, as change does bring a lot of unknowns, especially if it’s disruptive in nature. There’s also an unknown to the creative process: you may have a sense of where you’re going, but you don’t know exactly what the outcome is or is going to be. And if/when you get there, you may still not be finished. We talked about how the unknown that presents itself in change translates to the creative process:

~We, as human beings, are able to experience the beauty of believing in what we cannot see, if we choose to do so. This belief, this faith in the unknown is not something that can be taught or learned, it’s a space that we are to embody so we can fulfill some kind of purpose, that often is an unknown in and of itself. As we navigate this unknown terrain, we evolve and change, based on what we experience. The unknown can be this interesting place, if we can make peace with our fears about it and what’s there.

Which brings up an interesting question: how do we make peace with the unknown when it brings up things we didn’t know were there? Things that are uncomfortable, or even flat-out scary to us? We talked about how it comes down to boundaries: if we can hold firm to them, the sparks that fly from exploring the unknown can flicker into a flame, which can then turn into an all-out fire, blazing brightly, consuming, that can provide fuel for further exploration or burn away what is no longer needed, rendering them ash and fuel for future exploration and growth. 

~Given the time you’ve spent in the unknown over the past decade, what traits have you seen emerge that you didn’t know about yourself, or hadn’t seen before? 

~There is this aspect of balance in place today that I didn’t have before…I’ve gotten to a place that despite what happens, no matter how much the breakdown occurs, I understand that it needs to happen in order to rebuild. Truthfully, I probably had to have some kind of complete and utter breakdown, to rebuild in a way that brought me where I am today. I needed to demystify and dismantle the stories of my family that were no longer true for me, the messages the external world led me to believe about myself. Now, I see more clearly that we’re all here to serve, to help each other, to learn. I have more balance in my life now.  There were so many years of unhappiness as I was trying to figure out who I was and how I wanted to be, but I’m sitting here today, and I feel great. “I’ve come out on the other side.” 

We had an interesting tangent on the topic of self-help, which often has a formula of, if you follow X or do X in this way, you’ll become a better Y. Lana mentioned that having outside perspectives can be great, and that we all need to lean on each other at times for help/guidance…and it’s also important to remember is that no self-help book or direction from others is going to help us get over, around, or through the unknown…we ultimately have to go there ourselves. We have to find a way to jump in and embrace it, and figure it out for ourselves. Everyone’s journey is going to be different - no two people are the same. There just can’t be a substitute for that internal process of discovery, no matter how much the world and culture around us encourages us - bombards us - with countless external distractions and information. There is no substitute for carving out time for quiet and stillness, so we can do the work.

~When I make that quiet and stillness a priority, I get clarity. 

~Do you feel more connected to your purpose today, and have greater clarity on what you’re here to do, because of change? 

~Yes! I’ve explored many things over the past ten years; some worked, some didn’t. Today, I know what I stand for, I know what I want to be doing, I know my values and what is truly important to me. Before, I was going through the motions; doing what my family and society expected of me. Which is interesting, because even though I was someone who would do my own thing, those stories of expectations were still there. If I didn’t fulfill them, I felt guilty or like I was letting people down. As I’ve gained greater clarity into myself, and have set boundaries accordingly, the people that I thought I was letting down before have had to accept those changes in me. It’s hard to change with people that you’ve known for a long time. You see where there was a lack of boundaries, and the effort to establish them is herculean. It’s lonely; you’re not sure who’s going to come with you on the next part of your journey. They may not be willing or wanting to go. Yet, as I connected to myself and got past the external noise, I felt good about doing that. Yet, there are always triggers (especially when it comes to family!)! 

~Before, I was very impatient…as a result of those changes, I’ve had to become patient, even though I wanted things to come back into place. It didn’t happen that way. Change forced me to be patient, and to consider divine timing. Everything happens in its own time. It depends on our ability to trust and surrender to the unknown, to know that we are being taken care of. Life is happening for us, not to us. We can’t control it, so we have to embrace it.

~What do you think the role of care is, in times of change? 

~The greatest care we can give ourselves is grace. We’d recommend that to a friend, so why not to ourselves? How often do we consider what brings us joy? I’ve come to realize that providing care for myself is through my network of support. To know who I feel really safe with, that they’ve got my back, they support me no matter what. It’s so important to know who you can - and can’t - go to in times of need, and you often do need to tune up your networks and get clear on what the reality is with those relationships. We do all kinds of things to not see reality, mostly because we don’t want to see how we’ve contributed to that reality. And: it’s on us to take responsibility for all aspects of our lives. It’s hard to see how often we sign that over to others. To take that responsibility back is an interesting and important journey; it’s about empowering yourself to step back into your own power, and to realize where we’ve given it away. 

One final mention: another creative pursuit that both Lana and her business partner, Karina, are currently exploring is creating pendulums, and how they can help us connect into the mystery and power of our inner knowing and intuition, in a unique and personal way. Check out Lana and Karina’s newly-launched online boutique, Heart Centric Divine Creations, if you are curious to learn more about pendulums and how they can bring spirit-led answers to life questions you may be having. 

Much gratitude to the lovely Lana for sharing her thoughts on change with us today. A personal thank you to Lana for her vulnerability and honesty in sharing her story; you inspire me every time our paths cross, and I am deeply grateful for our friendship! I also ask her humble forgiveness if I’ve transcribed/edited anything she shared in error.

If you enjoyed Lana’s story and would like to hear more real stories from real people on real change, please subscribe to Changemakers Confidential, and share it with other changemakers you know. Thanks for reading - see you next week! 

Warmly,

Kristina

Chief Change Maven, Changemakers Confidential