Changemakers Confidential: Susan and David

Real stories. Real people. Real change.

Welcome to Changemakers Confidential, where we share real stories from real people on real change.

This week’s update comes from the greater Boston area, and tells the story of Susan and David. They are an engaging, spirited, and inspiring couple in their 80s, who have lived - in their words - a “charmed life.” After 58 years of marriage, children, grandchildren, archeological deep-sea diving, international living in Turkey and Israel, National Geographic magazine, and much more, these two are still laughing, finishing each other’s sentences, and sharing gratitude for a life well-lived. Let’s meet them and hear their change story.

Susan’s change story: 

Tell us a little bit about where you grew up. When we were growing up, we were in an almost-exclusive Jewish, immigrant area in Boston. We heard Yiddish being spoken all around us. I met David one summer at Revere Beach (we also spent our summers there as a family); his sister and I knew each other already from previous summers spent there, and from school. She told me that David was going to invite me to a social event at a lake, hosted by his boys’ club. I was 16 at the time, and figured, why not? Well, that was it. We started dating, and stayed together while we both went to school. We both went to school locally so we could stay at home, because we didn’t have any money to live anywhere else. We got married at 24, in 1964, after David graduated from his archeology PhD program at Brandeis University. We’ve been married 58 years now. After we got married, we went to Turkey and eventually Cyprus during the summer for a number of years. See, David was a scuba diver, and sometimes would go down as far as 120 feet to reach the ship and remains they were excavating up from the ocean floor for the first time. It was an exciting time; National Geographic wrote articles and did a documentary on the work David/his team was doing around resurrecting the oldest known Greek ship at the time, off the coast of Cyprus, in Kyrenia (check out the June 1970 and November 1974 editions of National Geographic to learn more!).

I got a degree in medical technology and worked at the Veteran’s Hospital once I graduated. I had a wonderful supervisor at the time, and she encouraged me to apply for a course in hematology being offered at Harvard University. I said yes, she put my name in, and I was accepted. I lived in the nurse’s quarters while I was taking the course, and every day I was picked up and brought back by the commandant’s limousine so I could get there easily. It was all arranged by my wonderful boss, but it probably shouldn’t be made public because I don’t think it was kosher!!! I didn’t speak to the driver because I was studying so hard, on the way there and back. In time, my supervisor encouraged me to apply for a job at Mass General, which I got, and I spent many wonderful years there. Later on, I went back to school at Cornell University, for my Master’s in social work, and did that for a number of years before retiring.

It seems like having a strong advocate who supported and encouraged you was critical during that time of your life. Oh, yes! You know, her story was interesting: her mother immigrated to Chelsea, MA from the Caribbean (Chelsea was a predominantly Jewish neighborhood at the time), and her first language was Yiddish, so there was a connection right away. She was like a second mother to me, and I deeply appreciated her support.

Now, when I married David, I was clear on one thing: I didn’t want to have any children. What with our international travel, work, and lifestyle, it didn’t seem to make sense. However, eventually, I changed my mind, and in March of 1970, we had our first son in Philadelphia; in 1973, our second son arrived. David was applying for teaching positions, and got one at Cornell University. We moved to Ithaca in 1974, where David started his academic career.

This was a time of major transition for you! Having babies, moving, starting a new life somewhere completely different…how was it for you? Did it feel like it was all happening at once? We moved into the ideal neighborhood, which was funny because when we got word that our bid had been accepted, we weren’t really sure which house it was, because the visit had been such a blur! So, we went with it and moved in, and it turned out to be a great neighborhood/community with lifelong friends we have to this day…so many wonderful memories. We lived there for twenty years and were very happy there. In 1988, our oldest graduated from high school and David had a sabbatical, so we decided to go to Israel for two years with our sons. They both worked alongside David on the excavation in Israel, and our oldest still tells us to this day, how much of an impact that experience had on him.

Where are you sons today? Our oldest is in Rochester, NY; he’s a professor, his wife is a physician. They also met at 16 and got married at 24. Our youngest lives in San Francisco with his wife. He’s an internet guy; she works in finance. We’ve also got four wonderful grandchildren; our oldest grandchild is currently a sophomore at Cornell University, which makes him a triple legacy, because I got my master’s in social work at Cornell in 1993 - the same year my oldest son graduated! In addition, our younger son and one of our daughter-in-law’s also graduated from Cornell (during David’s tenure there), so you could say that “Big Red” runs deep in our family!

What have you learned about yourself in navigating and living through change? Well, I knew that if I married David, I’d be traveling around the world. I like change; I am also a neat, orderly person. So long as everything is orderly, I’m a happy camper. I like to have everything arranged in advance, even if it’s just in my mind, which was something I learned to do, growing up with dyslexia. I can’t go forward if it’s not arranged in my brain. I also like meeting people and staying in touch with old friends. That’s always been a priority for me; every time I’ve moved, I’ve created a community of friends. We’ve made lifelong friends everywhere we’ve lived. It can be helpful to expand your definition of family - to include friends and others - as you live other places and aren’t close to family…it can really help us navigate change and experience different parts of ourselves in the process.

David’s change story:

Truthfully, I’ve led a charmed - and unexpected - life. As a young person, I wanted to live my own life. I rebelled from my eastern European, immigrant experience because I wanted to go my own way, experience life differently. What were some of those expectations that your family had of you? My mother wanted me to be a rabbi…more religious, anyway. As your life started to play out, given your educational, professional, and life experiences, was it ever hard to wrap your brain around it all? You know, I came from a ghetto environment and found myself asking time and time again, is this really my life? I’m traveling to Turkey, Cyprus, Greece…as a young person, I was a guy who never left the neighborhood!

Do you think you are a seeker? Do things seem to come to you? Well, I’ve had a receptive wife who wanted to come along on these adventures with me, so that helped. What experiences in particular stand out to you? It was incredible that we were digging up ancient ships that were 100-120 feet underwater. Everything we were doing was the first time it’d been done…there was so much publicity, it was almost unbelievable that we were doing it all. And things weren’t planned; it all seemed to fall into place, at just the right time. A lot of it was the people I’d met, the support along the way…serendipity is a thing! Every place we lived was incredible, we made lifelong friends. 

What have you learned about yourself in change? Life is a crapshoot - you never know what a decision is going to result in. You accept the job offer, you move, see what happens. When I was offered the job at Cornell, I got the phone call while I was at dinner with my sister. I had to let them know on that call if I was interested in the job or not. I looked at Susan, we said, why not, and here we are all these years later. I think that going with your intuition is the thing; you never know how it will all work out in the end, and that’s part of the fun, the adventure.  

Susan and David’s change story is a vibrant reminder of how important it is to trust your intuition that everything will work out, as well as how community can carry you through a variety of life experiences, and create deep and lasting bonds that endure, no matter where you may roam. Thanks to the two of them for sharing their story and don’t forget to check out the National Geographic archives to read more about David’s underwater expeditions.

Thanks for reading this week, everyone!

Your change maven extraordinaire,

Kristina