Changemakers Confidential: Mary Ann
Real stories. Real people. Real change.
Welcome to Changemakers Confidential, where we share real stories from real people on real change.
~Building relationships takes time. They’re not about efficiency. ~Mary Ann
I had the pleasure of crossing paths with Mary Ann a little over a year ago when I was on the hunt for unique and heartfelt gifts for my girlfriends in honor of our annual Welcome to Summer weekend. I’d found her on Instagram (@Hooked_by_MA) via a good friend of mine from work (also her son), so I figured I’d reach out and see what we could do by way of a custom, crocheted gift for my friends (answer: amazing pillows shown in the picture at the end of this interview). I knew that she’d recently retired after over forty years at John Deere, and was now fully into a new entrepreneurial endeavor with her crafting/crochet business, Hooked by MA, so figured she’d be a great candidate to talk about change. We covered a full range of topics, including how new endeavors and learning new things can help you weather a global pandemic, the importance of showing up for your family in times of change, and how change eventually brings you back to you, albeit a new you, with all of the lessons and lived experiences had in the interim. I appreciated her calm, down-to-earth manner, and how our conversation provided insight and soothed this Sagittarius soul.
You now officially have a crafting business, Hooked by MA, that you started up in retirement. Talk to me about what it was like, taking that step into entrepreneurship, after a lifelong career in something totally different.
Well, my retirement in 2019 wasn’t my original plan. In my head, I wanted to get to 2020 and retire then, but John Deere - where I worked for 40 years - changed that thinking when they made some changes on the personnel side of things. Deere offered me a voluntary severance package, and so as I thought about that option and talked it over a bit, folks told me that when it was time for me to go, I would know. So, even though I had this 2020 date in my mind, what with the voluntary severance and the six months of vacation I had saved up, I figured it was my time to go and go figure out what I was going to do with my time after Deere.
Now, I’ve crocheted since high school, and if I ever got a request for something, I would only charge for the cost of yarn and supplies, never for my time, which was significant for some of them. I’d always had the idea bouncing around that it would be fun someday to open a craft shop, to sell yarn and supplies, to offer classes. So that idea - along with the help of a son in communications who got me set up on Instagram and a daughter in graphic design as who helped me with the logo - finally became a reality in Hooked by MA. Once that was launched, I started getting multiple orders at once, which was wild. For one of those early orders, I did some custom designs for the customer, and even though I was proud of the work, I also felt relieved when it was done and it got me thinking about how busy I actually wanted to be in retirement. The goal wasn’t to retire and to step into another full-time job, but to do something fun and creative with my time. I crochet because I love it, and I know it makes people happy. I honestly don’t know how I ever got forty hours of work in before because Hooked by MA keeps me pretty busy! Do you ever find yourself wanting to find another way to wind-down because crocheting, which was your wind-down activity when you were working full-time, became a business for you? Well, not yet! Usually, at the end of the day, I’m doing more routine parts of the process, things that I could do in my sleep, so it’s still relaxing for me to sit down, grab my hook and spend time continuing the projects I’ve got going.
Mary Ann, how did you get into crocheting in the first place? My senior year of high school, I took Home Ec, because that’s what girls did back then. It was our last semester, and we had six weeks to learn something new, so I decided to learn how to crochet. I learned how to knit as a young girl, but I don’t love it. You don’t have to worry about multiple stitches with crocheting! Over the years, I’ve made many afghans for people: nieces and nephews, family members, baby afghans. I’ve learned so many new crocheting techniques since I’ve retired; I’ve got more of an opportunity to learn, try something out, improve my craft. It’s like you’re adding to a foundation you’ve been laying for years at this point. I’m sure it’s fun to try things out, to see what you can do, knowing you’re coming from solid experience. One time at a craft fair, there was a lady wearing a white sweater that had an outline of flowers in black on the front, which I really liked and thought would make a good idea for a pillow. I went up to her and asked, can I take a picture of that design for a crochet idea I have? That’s what it’s like today: I see the world in pillows!
How did crocheting and Hooked by MA help you in your transition to retirement? Well, as you know, I wasn’t planning on retiring when I did, so a big question for me was around what was I going to do. I knew I had a desire to start a business, so the newness, the excitement of getting that set up helped me get going. Then, COVID hit, and all of a sudden, you couldn’t go anywhere. Hooked by MA really helped me adjust to the isolation and shut-down of COVID because I had something to do, and something new to learn. It was so hard to not see my children for eight months, to not be able to give them a hug. But with me being retired and an empty nester, I was already in that more slowed down mode. Joe (her husband) was deemed an essential business as a realtor, so most of our routine continued through COVID. And you know, I have to say that I’m happy today. My crocheting keeps me busy; I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. I still see girlfriends, I’m still volunteering; honestly, the timing of early retirement and crocheting has really helped me with the transition to retirement. The slowdown wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I do think it depended on what your individual circumstances were.
Let’s talk a bit about self-care in times of change: change often comes unexpectedly and also tends to disrupt things a bit. Even our most tried-and-true rhythms and routines can be challenged by change. How do you view - or practice - self-care in times of change? Change is constant. And there’s only so much Mary Ann to go around, so at times, you have to let go of some of Mary Ann so you can be involved with the kids, with your family, with the stage of life you’re in like you want to. You want to be in their lives, want to be involved in what they do. Self-care is always evolving to accommodate your current circumstances. If you don’t evolve, you’re going to break. It’s important to always consider what’s important to you right now, what are you priorities right now. One thing that was important to me was sitting down to Sunday dinner. Early on, we did that with china, white tablecloth, the whole nine yards. As the kids got older and their lives got busier, I realized that it didn’t matter what table you’re at, it’s the act of coming together to share a meal that’s the thing. Again, you have to be flexible or you’re going to break.
Self-care is also about being honest: here’s my world, here’s what I can do, here’s what I can control; the other stuff is just noise. Over the course of my career at Deere, I was asked to be in different leadership roles, and each time, I decided that my life was too important to bring work home everyday So today, would you say there is a different Mary Ann coming back into the picture? Are there echoes of who you were before and/or are you seeing someone new come into the picture? Well, here’s an example: when Michael (her son; my friend) was able to drive himself and his sister around for activities and such, I would still find myself starting to get ready to go, and was then like, wait, I don’t have to leave to go and pick them up! It’s in those moments that you start to put Mary Ann back on the front burner and find some space to see what happens.
You’ve mentioned your family multiple times in our conversation, so I want to be sure to touch on the role of family and relationships in times of change. What do you think is the role of family traditions in change? Traditions change over the years. You can either get over it and embrace the new or be pissed about it. Whatever you’re working on, if it’s a project, work or house-related, you drop it when the kids come home because you want to spend time with them and do what they want to do. The kids and their friends still want to hang out with us today, and I think it’s because we were there, we talked with them, we were involved in their lives. Ultimately, it’s about accepting what you can’t change, and changing what you can.
So in those moments of change, how do you determine priorities? How do you decide what the right things are when it feels like so much change is happening at once? I’m asking for a friend. :) Well, first, I consider family: is it/how is it going to affect our routine? Then I think about the kids and if there could be an impact to them. I also consider if a financial effect could be felt. I think communication is important, and having everyone involved in that so we can talk, support, and help each other in figuring out what the right things are when a lot of change - any change - is happening around us.
What are some surprising things you’ve learned about yourself in times of change? Well, I haven’t thought about that before. I guess I’ve learned that I’m more flexible than I thought I’d be. I’ve really had the opportunity to learn a lot and meet new people, and have really enjoyed growth in that way. I’m also picking up some past relationships that went on the back burner years ago; it’s great to nurture those relationships again. I think I put them away for too long and felt guilty that I wasn’t seeing them. More people are important in your life than you may realize at the moment. They are a part of you, no matter what your life choices or paths have been. It’s a gift to see that in spite of changes, there are some who stay on the journey with you.
One thing I wanted to be sure to mention here was that we lost my brother to cancer a year and a half ago. It was hard to deal with the lack of closure on that because of COVID. There was no family get-together, no way to come together and console each other. We all have a grieving process to go through, and to not have the help of the family because of COVID prolongs that closure. That’s been real hard for me. However, what’s interesting, is that every now and again, I see cardinal birds flying around our backyard or when I’m out on my morning walk (often a pair, a female and a male) and have learned to take them as a sign that my brother and dad, who have both passed on now, are still with me. I also have a Christmas ornament of a cardinal, which also reminds me of them when I put it on the tree. Every time I see a cardinal, I stop and smile/reflect on my brother and my dad, and what they meant to me while they were here, so that’s been nice and has helped a bit with the closure I’ve needed around their passing.
It has been a treat and a delight to get to know Mary Ann over the past year (my humble apologies to her if I’ve omitted anything, transcribed, and/or interpreted anything in error from her story), and I encourage all of you, if you are looking for personalized, cozy, and unique gift ideas and a way to support/promote a local, women-owned business in their beginning stages, to check out her online store, Hooked by MA, and place your order today (the words getting out about her, folks, so don’t delay if you’ve got a hankering for some adorable pillows). Here’s some eye candy of the pillows I purchased last year for Welcome to Summer that are supah cute (please excuse the paper bag of books spilling over in the corner):
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Warmly,
Kristina
Chief Change Maven, Changemakers Confidential