Now is the only time you have. Tomorrow comes disguised as today, and many of us don’t even notice. ~Good Vibes, Good Life: How Self-Love is the Key to Unlocking Your Greatness, Vex King
Be present.
Two small words. A herculean ask. A mode of being that many of us possess a low - or inconsistent - ability to actually do, given the demands and pace of life we lead on a daily basis.
The irony of these two small words strike a personal chord for me: I have over two decades of yoga practice under my belt, I’m a certified yoga instructor, I meditate regularly…by so many intents and purposes, I have the things in my favor to be able to do this very thing (and do it well!), and still, I struggle with it every single day.
I more have moments of presence, rather than any kind of steady state, which I’m learning to accept is the essence of being present. To be a little more aware of my responses to people and situations that I’m in, to take a few breaths (it really does help!), to ask myself, what’s going on here, Kristina? What do you need to pay attention to, right now? What is there to learn from this, right now? How do I want to show up for this, right now?
The answers to those questions are not often easy for me to consider and articulate. They bring forward parts of myself I’d rather keep in the shadows, or deep hurt and pain I’d rather not admit is there, but I find that keeping it to “right now” prevents overwhelm and self-judgment from sweeping in and taking over the story. Prevents me from making assumptions about myself or the situation that may or may not actually be true.
I see myself leading more with curiosity, grace, and compassion for myself and other people because, in fact, I really don’t know much beyond what I’m seeing (and may be misinterpreting, given my own experience) or what the person is choosing to tell - or not tell - me (which may not be the full story). By remembering these facts, I find the emotional charge that often accompanies these moments of challenge and change is much less, and that I am able to show up much more with integrity, curiosity, and care.
In many ways, I see how tomorrow has become today for me. I’m a few months into my post-divorce life, and I feel a little bit more of how I wanted to feel this summer when everything was about survival, getting through it, moving some pretty damn heavy and ginormous life boulders out of the way so I could find a teeny, tiny path to step forward on. The peace I feel today, the emotional unthawing that is taking place, were very much what I wanted my tomorrow to be back then. It still feels strange, I’m still learning to trust its steady presence in my life, and make no mistake, I have many lonely moments where I want to go back to some form of yesterday. But I am fully, completely, thankfully, in The Now.
Today, I challenge myself to notice what is here, who is here, what is needed - and what I can actually do - in these moments I have, for myself, for those I love and care about, and for those who demonstrate love and care for me. How do we show up in the moments we have right now, that bring us forward in a more authentic way, attuned to our lives and the choices we made, accepting the responsibility for those choices? To Be present. To let those moments of presence bring tomorrow forward as today, meeting them with candor, courage, and compassion.
Even though today’s update has many good questions within it that I hope you spend some time with this week, I still want to close with a few additional for your consideration/reflection on our topic of The Now/being present. As always, I welcome your thoughts/idea in the comments below; apparently, it’s a good week to journal! :)
What does “being present” mean to you? What does it look like? Feel like?
Is it important for you to “be present?” Is it something you value? Why or why not?
Can you think of an example from the past week where you chose to show up more present than you would have normally? What did you say/do differently? What was the result?
How/where can you cultivate more presence in your life? Think of a specific example/circumstance and one action you’ll take this week to do so.