Remember that rejections are just redirections to better things. Setbacks are pauses for thought, opportunities to altar your plans…for the better. And however big any failure may feel at the time, there’s always a lesson to learn. Only with faith can we recognize the value of our downfalls. What we truly want often comes wrapped in different packaging. ~Vex King, Good Vibes, Good Life: How Self-Love is the Key to Unlocking Your Greatness
I love the concept of faith, even if I don’t always like it. I believe that most of life is a mystery, and that we are all winging our way through it, as best we can. We live, we learn, we hurt, we laugh, we cry, we grow, we love, we expand…one step at a time. This is the thrilling and terrifying experience of life, no outcomes necessary except to make it through the day with some progress, some love, and some people around us who fill our spirits with some joy and connection that make it worthwhile. And “some” adds up to everything, which gets us back to those things we truly want for ourselves. I’m reminded daily that these things often whisper their existence, tip toe quietly into my life, and are not the loudest, most strident voice in the room. I’m learning to be a better host, more consciously on the lookout for their arrival, so they feel welcomed in, have some space to linger, a snack to eat, so they, in turn, can help me be a little better at human-ing.
The idea that we have to believe in what we cannot see is a hard one for our modern society, which is based on logic, reason, science, and what we can see or prove to be true. The delivery mechanism of high-speed technology encourages us to be ever-faster, more machine-like, less human-like. Faith takes time. Faith has its own timeline. We have to remind ourselves that the timing of faith isn’t ours, and wishing it to come faster doesn’t help. Faith shows us how some things may not work out for us, which is a really hard pill to swallow when it’s something we’ve planned for, sacrificed for, built our lives around for.
Faith and the unknown brought me to my current living situation, back in the city after four years in the suburbs, in a cozy neighborhood where I see people out walking their dogs, kids riding bikes, people hanging out in the front yard, sitting around a fire pit, chatting and sipping something delicious from their to-go cups. I live in a house that feels like home again, after living in a house I was supposed to want, given my phase of life, income level, and desired social status.
The packaging of this house is different, and I was definitely on a walk of faith from the first time I saw it to the moment I signed the papers and it was unbelievably mine. I learned so much about myself in that process. How willing I am to take a risk for something I really want, how important community is for me, how vital it is for me to provide a cozy home for my children, and that I am someone who makes that shit happen. How I can be patient and have faith in what I couldn’t yet see, even when the moment stretched impossibly thin and I was convinced it was going to snap at any moment. How amazing my friends/community are, and how they show up for me in times that look nothing like the original packaging they came in. I am humbled; I am grateful. I am a bit more faithful.
I remind myself multiple times a day that things happen for me, not to me, often to redirect me towards something that’s better for me, to uncover some insight about myself that had been hidden or inaccessible to me before then. It’s been a wild ride this year, but I’ve gotten better at steering, understanding when to hit the gas and when to take my foot off the brake and let things coast a bit. To clear out the shit that had been rattling around in the backseat, so I could make room for the things I want to take along with me on this phase of the road trip of life.
Take a few minutes to consider the following self-reflection questions, focused on faith and what we can learn from failure. Please leave your thoughts/ideas in the comment section below - I would love to hear from you!
What does faith mean to you?
Do you find it easy or difficult to have faith in your life? Why or why not?
How do you view setbacks/failures in your life? What’s one of the biggest lessons you’ve learned to-date from something not working out like you’d wanted to?
Can you think of an example of how something you truly wanted came in a different package? Did you realize what it was? Did you decide to open up the new packaging and see what was inside? What happened?
Thanks, all, for reading - see you next week (and don’t forget to comment, share, or subscribe)!
To me, faith is finding ways to be more comfortable with what we cannot control, namely the thoughts, beliefs, and actions of others and circumstances we don't always understand. To believe that things work out or will work out, even if we don't see how the hell it's going to. Faith is also about embracing ambiguity and the flow of life, doing our best to be present-moment. Not dwelling/reliving the past (too much) or planning too far out into the future (too much), but being with who and what is here right now.